Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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