mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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