So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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