Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
