he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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