Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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