Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize