I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
