she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
