you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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