May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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