New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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