dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just want to make out with him forever
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
