That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
