Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
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Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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