I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
