there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
