Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
