And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
