What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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