I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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