operation harelip BJ is a go
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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