How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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