Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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