Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
