Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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