I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
