New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
