So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
