i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Randomize
