Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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