I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize