So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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