Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
