Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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