shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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