batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
