What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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