who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
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I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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