Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
