Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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