I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
