It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
