You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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