If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
