Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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