Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
