You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
