your room smells of hookers.
And success
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
