Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
