i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
