If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Four minutes until I can fart!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
