We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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