Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
