What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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