dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
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The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
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Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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