im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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