i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
