He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
