She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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