Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
