Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.

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(360): View more from Washington

I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes

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(503): View more from Oregon

Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.

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(905): View more from Ontario

I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental

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(406): View more from Montana

She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"

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(504): View more from Louisiana

lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult

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(530): View more from California

You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?

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(209): View more from California

Any luck with the purse?

(509): View more from Washington

No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that

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