I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Your dad touched me again.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
