i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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