He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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