we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
