There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Never underestimate the power of titties
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
