a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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